FORGIVENESS
I found something interesting when I looked up this word in the Google search bar. Most words give you an option for Merriam-Webster or Dictionary.com but neither of those options came up in the top 10 search results. But you know what did show up…a myriad of entries from the Bible. When the word forgiveness comes up, people want to know what the Bible says about it. I’ve heard that next to being perfect, forgiveness is the hardest thing to achieve.
When I did make it to a dictionary this is what it told me. To forgive is to cease to feel resentment against an offender. To forgive is to allow room for weakness or error.
In order to forgive we have to release the other person. Releasing that person does not mean that no wrong has been committed or even that another person was without fault. Forgiveness allows room for weakness or error. One of the lines in a song I like tells us that “forgiveness is such a simple word to say, but it’s so hard to do when you’ve been hurt." I think all of us can agree with that.
When we walk around in unforgiveness it’s like walking around with an invisible string is holding you to that other person. You find yourself uncontrollably sensitive to everything they say and do because you have attached yourself to them. Every jerk, every slip they make is a painful tug of remembrance for you.
Forgiveness is fueled by love. We love because God first loved us. As Christians we seek first to love others as Christ loves us and it is because of this teaching that we believe forgiveness is always the right thing to do no matter what the offense is. Jesus makes powerful move of forgiveness when he cries aloud from the cross of Calvary essentially on his death bed “Father, forgive them. For they know not what they do”
I know that we are all in different places in our faith walk and at times there is a spirit that rises up in us called opposition. Whatever Jesus says and does we become critical of and we resist or oppose the practice because it’s too super spiritual and unrealistic.
So let’s go back again to the point that forgiveness is fueled by love. When you love yourself you do things that are in your best interest and will be good for you. Right? We all do it, some more than others, but that’s okay. I love myself so I want to put good things into my body. I love myself so I want to look good. I love myself so I want to surround myself with good people. I love myself so I look out for me. I love myself so much that if something is physically hurting me, I take it out or get rid of it. My hand is too important and essential to burn on that stove top. And in the same way, my heart is too important and critical to my existence to let some person continue to hurt it.
The worst thing about that invisible string of unforgiveness is that it renders you powerless. That other person is dragging your heart and emotions on the ground and in the dirt without even giving you a second thought. They have continued living their life without you and are no longer concerned about you or at least that old situation. Ouch right?!? Well if they don’t care and don’t even know that they’ve been dragging you along with an invisible string then why should we expect them to do anything about it? Why should I wait around and expect you to say sorry? Why should I sit around and wait for you to cut the string?
Do you know we carry around the burden of unforgiveness to ourselves as well. That weight drags us down like a sand bag. We wear that string around our waist and the dead weight of past experiences is right there nicking the back of our heels. Sometimes you’ll find that you can’t release others until you have released yourself.
What I want to tell you tonight, maybe you’ve heard before and maybe it’s your first time hearing it, but all the power to forgive lies within us. There are limits to what another human being can do to you. They can influence a lot of things but they cannot, should not, and will not control our ability to move on with our lives. The power to forgive lies within you. Personally, I draw that strength from Jesus because he led by example. The Gospels say “forgive and you will be forgiven”
Colossians 3:12-13 “You are God's chosen race, his saints; he loves you, and you should be clothed in sincere compassion, in kindness and humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with one another; forgive each other as soon as a quarrel begins. The Lord has forgiven you; now you must do the same.”
Love, even if it’s love for your own well being gives you the strength to let that thing or person go. To devalue ourselves is one of the greatest offenses we can commit (*see blog "What are You Waiting For?"*). If you don’t want to cut the string and live a life of separation that decision is up to you. Through Jesus, you have the power as well as the strength to forgive those who have offended you, to forgive those who have hurt you, to forgive yourself for past mistakes and regrets, and to take back the pieces of yourself that have been given and taken away by the jerking of many invisible strings.
I believe there is the power of life and death in the tongue. If you want to cut a few strings I invite you to pray aloud this prayer with me:
God, today I ask you for the strength to forgive. My desire is not simply to forget but to release the hold of that person and of that situation over my life. Please help me to love others and to love myself just as You have loved me. Amen.
Supporting Scriptures (there are dozens more):
Luke 6:37 (NIV) "...Forgive, and you will be forgiven."
Mat 6:14-15 (NIV) "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But, if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
There are so many times when we look to others to make a change in our reality, we put the expectation on another human being to make a move that will rock our lives and move mountains. Maybe a parent, a trusted friend, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, the future wife you’re looking and praying for, the future husband you’re looking and praying and pleading on your knees every night with God for. I hate to break it to you folks but they’re not the answer. These people can only add on to you. They can’t make you someone you’re not. Remember the limitations that others have on our lives. So think about the people or events that have become mountains in your life. Remember that you have been equipped with the most powerful and effective mountain climbing tool…love. When you realize that love is the greatest gift of all it makes everything else seem so small.
The best is yet to come,
~Adwoa
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